Tarot Reading for J, August 2018

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Your Question: How can you best support your son as he navigates high school?

 

Position 1: Focus

Where should you direct your energy and attention?

JUSTICE

 

The justice card is a card of decisions, but it is also a card of balance. When it comes to our children, we want to defend them. But more than that, we want life to treat them fairly. We see this as justice.

But justice isn't as simple as what is fair. The purpose of justice is to make things right. And sometimes what is right doesn't seem fair. But sometimes what doesn't seem fair is essential to create more justice in the world. That might sound convoluted, but just sit with it for a few minutes. Consider the wealthy person who believes he has worked hard for his wealth, and doesn't think it's fair that he has to give some of it away to people who haven't worked as hard as he has. But most of us would argue that giving some of his wealth is just, whether or not it is fair.

 

As you steer your child through the coming years it will be important to be able to see through the eyes of justice rather than through the eyes of fairness. There will be times when what seems too hard, what seems unfair, will be what is just - what is right. It might even be instrumental to your child's growth into his best self.

 

Essential to this process is the cultivation of balance, as indicated by the scales, by the two pillars flanking the figure on the card, by the perfect symmetry of his robes, by the square jewels on his crown and cloak. Because balancing the scales is part of the work of justice. Making space for all is part of the work of justice. Holding extremes in check so they don't destroy us is part of the work of justice. You might have to be the figure on this card, weighing the costs and consequences, defending your child but remembering to see the bigger picture. Remembering to balance reason with love, to give as much weight to what is realistic in this world as you give to what you want for your son. It's a difficult position to be in, but it's crucial to remain balanced.

 

One final aspect of justice is clear sight. This figure seems to be looking directly at us, unblinking eyes zeroed in on what is right in front of him. There's little room for denial in the future. You will have to be willing to see what is right in front of you, even if it is hard to see, and you will have to make decisions based on the truth. It's easy to let feelings cloud our perception of the truth, especially where our children are concerned. Balancing honest observation with a tender heart will be vital.

 

Position Two: Release

What you will need to let go.

TWO of CUPS

 

On this card we see two figures in what appears to be a marriage: they are exchanging cups, watched over by a winged lion and the double serpent of the caduceus. In the distance we see a house flanked by trees and gentle hills: a symbol of home. The two of cups is the card of emotional bonds, of deep connection that reaches to the soul - a communion of the spirit. It has a very traditional feeling, an image we associate with marriage. I feel a few different messages coming from this card.

 

First - and this one is common to many, many parents - you will have to let go of being the primary bonded relationship in your child's life. Even if he always needs you - and he will - he will also need the space to create bonds of his own, bonds with other people, bonds that have nothing to do with you. This doesn't mean you have to let him go entirely. Of course it doesn't. It simply means you will have to allow other connections to become important to him, and know that you can't be the whole world to him, even if he will always depend on you to some degree.

 

Second, this card could indicate that you will have to let go of the idea of your child forming a traditional loving bond that you can understand. People are changing, the world is changing, and your child is unique. It will be important for you to know the difference between social values to teach your son - kindness, decency, generosity are important for all of us, for example - and social norms like conventional marriage, family, children. This isn't a prediction that your son will never have those things. The future isn't written yet, and no one can tell you what exactly will happen. The point of this card is that you will have to let go ofyour ideas about what kind of bonds your child will form, let go of any assumption that he will want what you want for yourself or for him. Instead, focus on values. Focus on teaching him about the goodness and decency each person can strive for, regardless of what kind of emotional attachments they form. And let him decide for himself what kind of love and companionship is best for him.

 

Position 3: Cultivation

What you need to cultivate or develope

PAGE of PENTACLES

 

The Page of Pentacles is a youth, full of optimism and energy. He is the excited adolescent in the suit of earth, which deals with our bodies, the physical world, and our relationship with money and other physical resources. In some decks this is the suit of coins, which ties it even more firmly to money, but in the Rider-Waite deck the imagery of the suit of pentacles is almost always lush with green, growing life, with the bounty of nature. You see the Page in the foreground, gazing appreciatively at the pentacle in his hands. To his right (our left), in the background we see mature trees, suggestive of some kind of grove or orchard. To his left is a ploughed field, ready for planting, and in the distance wild mountains, holding the possibility of even greater adventures. He is poised in this moment between what is established, what has already come to bear fruit, and potential - a field waiting to be planted and bring forth a harvest. But also there is the possibility he could walk away from both and disappear into those mountains in the distance.

 

I believe this card could represent your son. I believe it indicates the importance of helping him cultivate both a sense of possibility - there are choices, always, and some of them are unexpected and unconventional - and a sense of appreciation for what he already has. This is something we could all stand to cultivate in our lives, to be honest, but it's very important to help our children balance possibility with reality. It's also important to help them balance the desire for new things and adventure with gratitude for what they already hold in their hands.